OA

The Hidden Power of Embracing Your Emotions

2025/04/04

The Autumn Grief We All Feel But Ignore

Autumn arrives like a reminder that everything changes, even when we’re not ready for it. While some savor the shift in season, for others, it brings an undeniable sense of loss, like ash settling after a fire. The cracks in that ash expose our vulnerability, just like the discomfort of sharing too much and wishing we could pull it all back. The yellowing leaves signal that change is inevitable, but not always welcomed. It’s not a sweet melancholy; it’s the grief of something ending before you’re ready to let go.

Why We Keep Punishing Ourselves for Feeling

We’ve been trained to seek validation for our emotions. If our pain doesn’t come with a socially accepted label like "depression" or "loss," we’re told to suppress it, to "move on" or "shake it off." But this is where the real damage happens—when we feel bad about feeling bad. We create a loop of judgment, thinking we need permission to experience pain. The truth? Negative feelings aren’t flaws. They’re natural, necessary responses to life’s hardships. Ignoring them only leaves us stuck, replaying the same emotional cycles over and over.

The Freedom of Feeling Without Permission

When you stop seeking validation for your emotions, you unlock the path to healing. You give yourself the freedom to process what’s actually happening inside. It’s like seeing the beauty in the yellow leaves of autumn while still acknowledging their sadness. Letting yourself feel without judgment gives you clarity. It’s in this clarity that you can start to understand the "why" behind your emotions, and in doing so, you release yourself from the endless cycle of meta-emotion. The ash settles, the heart breathes, and you begin to grow.

The Challenge of Emotional Mastery

Here’s how to break free from the emotional loop:

  1. Spot the judgment. The next time you feel bad about feeling bad, ask yourself where that judgment comes from.

  2. Rewrite the narrative. Challenge the belief that you shouldn’t feel what you feel. Who decided that?

  3. Express without explanation. Journal your emotions without trying to make sense of them. Let them flow freely.

  4. Hold space for others. When someone shares their pain, resist the urge to fix them. Just give them the space to feel.

Your Challenge: Over the next week, allow yourself to fully feel every emotion that arises, without needing validation or an explanation. Pay attention to when you judge yourself, and when it happens, remind yourself that emotions are meant to be felt, not controlled. This is where real emotional freedom begins.

Keep on iterating,
Olivier Andriessen
Start small. Engage early. Iterate fast.
I explore the intersections of personal growth, minimalist productivity, and entrepreneurship. My goal is to provide insights on how to unlock your potential, build an intentional life, and create a thriving one-person business.